Emotional cheating is perpetuated by women more than men. Why? That’s an easy answer…we are emotional. I don’t mean burn your clothes, set your house on fire, key your car emotional (those are extreme cases that have happened, and can we ever forget Angela Bassett’s character setting her cheating husbands clothes on fire in Waiting to Exhale? Nope). Women are hardwired to express their emotions freely and are nurturers by nature, so we need a partner who is there for us both physically and emotionally.
Why is there so much pressure to be in a relationship during the holidays? Around the holidays you will almost always receive the, "When are you going to settle down?" and "When are you going to have a baby?" questions. I blame the weather. I blame the media. I blame Christmas. I blame New Year's Eve, and I blame my uterus. Yes...I said my uterus. In L.A. we have no snow and it barely rains but as soon as those temperatures drop just a wee bit, then all of the thirstiness of being alone surfaces in everyone. All of a sudden, everyone on my Twitter, Facebook and Instagram feeds are posting about finding love and cuddle weather. During the summer it was all, "shots, shots, shots!", dancing and partying and clubbing, but as soon as the weather changed, so did everyone's outlook on love.
It has been scientifically proven that the weather does affect our moods and there is an actual disorder associated with the seasons; SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) a depressive disorder in which a persons depressive state is connected to specific seasons. Also the "Winter blues" can make us feel sad, needy, lonely or make you feel as though you need someone to fill the emptiness you are experiencing. Cold weather makes us want to snuggle, I get it, but there is a huge difference between being lonely and spending time alone. Instead of focusing on not having someone to cuddle with during the cold, use this time to focus on your needs or the needs of those around you. Pick up extra work hours and make that money to pay off a bill. Donate time to charity, create a vision board, learn how to cook, or hell, fly your sad ass to Jamaica and find some happiness. Whatever you choose just know that he/she will come along when YOU are fulfilled within yourself, then the universe will casually bring you your cuddle buddy.
There is something that clicks in your brain when you are told that your mom is dying. I don't know how to explain the feeling other than a mixture of adrenaline, fear, despair and a weird calmness that feels more like emptiness. On October 31, of this year my mom found out the pain in her back is cancer. There are 4 tumors total, all small in size but in different areas. She is weak and constantly in pain. I have been camped out at the hospital in-between work. Apparently the cancer is aggressive and it's stage 4. Why the fuck did this happen? I felt angry and cried for three days straight. The thing is, this cancer is not mine, it is my mom's and I am already mourning her as if she is gone. This is not the way to be...EVER.
The doctors can't identify the point of origin from where the cancer is coming from. First they will treat the tumors in her back which are approximately 3cm with radiation-that begins Monday-then comes Chemotherapy. Prayer helps, although I have to admit, I was mad as hell at God. I thought how the hell could he let this happen? Why my mom? Why any one's mom? She has literally sacrificed her entire life for the sake of my siblings, and myself. Constantly helping us through every damn thing. Helping my grandmother, aunt and uncles whenever they ended her, and this is how she is rewarded...with fucking cancer?! I am sure God hears these words said by millions of people when it comes to cancer. It's an epidemic here in the United States, and I know God didn't "let" this happen. He does not want my mom or anyone else with this disease to suffer, or even be infected with it. I apologized to God, it was my anger, and fear that got to me I took it out on him.
Dating sucks. Okay, that was a harsh opener. Dating is a mix of emotions; nervousness, excitement, joy and awkwardness. When you like someone, your brain produces endorphins which trigger an actual physical and emotional response in your body. This is what causes the "butterflies in your stomach" feeling every time you are near your crush, and it feels damn good. Having someone in your life feels like you've eaten pizza, ice cream, chocolate, and the best red wine you can find all at once, and not gained a pound at all afterward. It's a feeling of intimacy that we all deserve to experience, but since dating can be so complicated, how do we know if our "situation" is leading towards something more...a relationship. Here is my list-because you all know I am a complete genius on the subject-of five signs that he (or she) are never, ever, like ever, going to take things to the next level with you...ever:
1) He Only Texts You: Ugh...you guys, texting is the bane of my existence. Remember when a guy liked you and actually picked up the phone to call you? I remember a boy calling me in the sixth grade, this was circa 1990, and I was so excited that I literally screamed. Then, we had pagers and you would send someone a numerical page, okay let me explain for all you youngsters who have no idea what I am referring to because you've grown up in the cell phone only days: Pagers were dope. Pagers were so fly and we all had one-mine was purple-and came up with words you could create using numbers, and certain number combinations meant different things. If someone texted you the combo 143 it meant I love you. Guys called you because they had to! They couldn't send a text.
In high school a guy had a crush on me and wrote me letters almost weekly for an entire school year. Now, you have no idea what a guys handwriting even looks like. If you had to pick him out of a line-up based on his handwriting alone...you'd be screwed. You'd be all, 'I'm sorry detective I have no idea who this handwriting belongs to. Can you have him send me a text?' Now, all we get are bathroom selfies with the toilet seat in the background. If he sets up all your "dates" through text, has not picked up the phone once to call you, and every text session escalates quickly into sexting, then you my friend, are not going to be his girlfriend. Listen, I do not think you have to have hour long, daily phone conversations to establish a relationship, but I know that texting takes absolutely no effort. Picking up the phone, hearing someone's voice and establishing an actual intimate connection does.
Check out the new trailer for my web series:
To Live & Date in L.A.
To Live & Date in L.A.
The series follows three friends; Jonesie, Kimmy & Dani as they try to make it in the entertainment industry and navigate their way through the Los Angeles dating scene. After Jonesie's love life takes an unexpected and awful turn, she looks to her friends for support. Along the way the women struggle with career woes and dating mishaps that are as awkward as they are epic.
Written & Produced by: Me!
Starring: Myself, Tatiana Mariesa, and Natasha Gable
Head on over to the To Live & Date in L.A. YouTube page and please watch, like, share and subscribe! Thank you so much for your support xoxoxo Jonesie
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YouTube: To Live & Date in L.A.